Check-Up Talk

During his physical, the doctor asked the patient about his daily activity level. He described a typical day this way.


“Well, yesterday afternoon I bushwhacked my way through some heavy brush, waded along the edge of a lake, ran about 50 yards to escape from a bear that was sleeping in some tall grass, climbed a tree to get away from an aggressive looking coyote, hiked up and down several rocky hills, drank a couple of beers to keep myself hydrated,  wandered into a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of some quicksand and then made my way home late last night.”

Inspired by the story, the doctor said, “You must be one heck of an outdoorsman!”

“Nah,” the patient replied, “I’m just a lousy golfer.”

*Original Author Unknown – Edited and Modified by GH

A Couple’s Diary Talk

Wife’s Diary – Entry Date – April 7, 2016:   Tonight, I thought my husband Ernie was acting weird.  We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner.  I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it.  image

Conversation wasn’t flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk.  He agreed, but he didn’t say much.  I asked him what was wrong.  He said, ‘nothing.’  I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.  He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.

On the way home, I told him that I loved him.  He smiled slightly, and kept driving.  I can’t explain his behaviour.  I don’t know why he didn’t say, ‘I love you, too.’

When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.  He just sat there quietly, and watched TV.  He continued to seem distant and absent..

Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed.  About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep; I cried.  I don’t know what to do.  I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.  My life is a disaster.

Ernie’s Diary – Entry Date – April 7, 2016:   A two-foot putt… who the hell misses a two-foot putt, … six times?

*Original Author Unknown – Edited and Modified by GH